Monday musing: The evolution of Pencil and Chalk

1. I can’t believe I launched this blog a little over five years ago. 
2. I’m glad I bought this domain because .blogspot.com didn’t introduce me as a boss bish. I’m also glad I didn’t leave it as The Skinny DC Writer because somewhere along the way, I outgrew DC and longed to live in a new city. 
3. I’m mad that I didn’t actively defend this space, consequently reinforcing outside opinions that my blog is a mere hobby. I never fully articulated that these words construct my writing portfolio and this writing portfolio is the lifeline to some semblance of a livelihood. 
4. I’ve accepted that a majority of my fans will be strangers, at least in the formative years, and that many who know me could never fathom that this “little blog” will ever become a serious space or at least one to rival a larger platform. But I’m learning to not internalize it as rejection or discouragement or see it as a reflection of my true talent because in reality, I’m the shit.

   

   That time Aunt Dee from Moesha retweeted my essay.

5. I’m disappointed that I wasn’t in a position to remain consistent. But I stretched myself too thin, opened myself up too wide to even more outside opinions of what else I could do rather than fully immersing myself into what I want to do.
6. I wish I had somehow networked more – or at least used Twitter more strategically – and forged meaningful writer relationships because those who started out in 2013 with me have far bypassed me in success and genuine friendships while I’ve remained stagnant. Solo.
7. I cringe at the number of random posts that I published and subsequently unpublished in some active effort to claim a perfect place in this overcrowded blogosphere. I spent an exorbitant amount of time either emulating my favorite bloggers or absorbing irrelevant lessons taught in free webinars urging bloggers to “Find a niche! And offer useful information!” only to leave my page looking and sounding like a digital infomercial. What I ultimately learned: Overconsumption of information leads to procrastination and paralysis; imitation is not the best form of flattery; and it really is okay – mandatory, actually – to be myself. 
8. I smile when my words resonate with someone. It keeps me moving, not for the recognition, though, but rather the fact that my words can have such a positive impact and effect much-needed change in someone else’s life. Someone out there needs to hear them. 
   
9. I’m grateful for my experiences because they reveal my God-given purpose and positively influence my writing. I’m just gonna put faith before fear, discover my stride and stay in my lane. 
10. Five years later, I’m glad I didn’t quit.